Tiny Bubbles

Finally, after lots of hemming and hawing and perhaps a smidge of dawdling, there will now be some posting here (of poem type stuff) and here Life in the Present (all the other crap). Just in case, anyone is still out there….

my heart is a rock

on some riverbed somewhere

the fish fly below

and on the rock is your face

who knows how it got there

but because of you

I do know who wrote the book of love

it was us

I dream about you sometimes

and your face is gold

your heart

a bunch of flowers

everyone is there

Luna is rain

the wind is Bella

and Ruby is the sky

we are all beneath the rock

in the river

I can see it

The second actual conversation that I had with the young man at the deli I go to downtown.

Let me set the scene by saying that I have never in my life used the phrase, “It was pissing rain”, in conversation. Yesterday, however was an exception. It dumped rain, it rained buckets, cats dogs…. You get the picture. I was soaked through, because I had walked a couple of miles without rain gear.

Me: You wouldn’t happen to sell umbrellas as well (besides stinky God’s feet cheese)?

Him: No, sorry. Hey, but I could cut two eyeholes out of a paper bag and you could wear that.

Me: (laughter) Hmmm, I don’t know… Thanks anyway… (I smile)

Him: Not to hide your face, of course! I mean, because you’re beautiful. (he smiles)

Me: No, no. I know what you meant. It’s ok. (I smile more). I would just end up walking into a light pole anyway.

Thanks, you made this almost 40 year old woman’s day.

I am most beholden. (The post title is from the Philadelphia Story. If you haven’t seen it, well…. What are you waiting for!)

Everyday I receive a Daily Om thought for the day and a horoscope in my e-mail. More often than not they are exactly what I need to hear and think about at that particular moment. Today’s was no exception. Lately I have been allowing the past be it pain/memories and hurt to affect the here and now, especially in my personal relationships. I read the following and it struck me how I’ve been holding on to what other people have done to me and that it’s time to let it go.

So dear, Jeremy, Morgan and Reese,

I forgive all three of you for the pain that arose out of our relationships. I forgive myself as well. The past is gone. I let all three of you go.

June 6, 2007
An Empowered Perspective
Importance Of Forgiveness

When someone has hurt us, consciously or unconsciously, one of the most difficult things we have to face in resolving the situation is the act of forgiveness. Sometimes it feels like it’s easier not to forgive and that the answer is to simply cut the person in question out of our lives. In some cases, ending the relationship may be the right thing to do, but even in that case, we will only be free if we have truly forgiven. If we harbor bitterness in our hearts against anyone, we only hurt ourselves because we are the ones harboring the bitterness. Choosing to forgive is choosing to alleviate ourselves of that burden, choosing to be free of the past, and choosing not to perceive ourselves as victims.

One of the reasons that forgiveness can be so challenging is that we feel we are condoning the actions of the person who caused our suffering, but this is a misunderstanding of what is required. In order to forgive, we simply need to get to a place where we are ready to stop identifying ourselves with the suffering that was caused us. Forgiveness is something we do for ourselves, and our forgiveness of others is an extension of our readiness to let go of our own pain. Getting to this point begins with fully accepting what has happened. Through this acceptance, we allow ourselves to feel and process our emotions.

It can be helpful to articulate our feelings in writing over a period of days or even weeks. As we allow ourselves to say what we need to say and ask for what we need to heal, we will find that this changes each day. It may be confusing, but it is a sign of progress. At times we may feel as if we are slogging uphill through dense mud and thick trees, getting nowhere. If we keep going, however, we will reach a summit and see clearly that we are finally free of the past. From here, we recognize that suffering comes from suffering, and compassion for those who have hurt us naturally arises, enhancing our new perspective.

Daily Om

  Strange memories on this nervous night in Las Vegas. Has it been five years? Six? It seems like a lifetime, the kind of peak that never comes again. San Francisco in the middle sixties was a very special time and place to be a part of. But no explanation, no mix of words or music or memories can touch that sense of knowing that you were there and alive in that corner of time and the world. Whatever it meant.
…. There was madness in any direction, at any hour. You could strike sparks anywhere. There was a fantastic universal sense that whatever we were doing was right, that we were winning.
And that, I think, was the handle - -that sense of inevitable victory over the forces of Old and Evil. Not in any mean or military sense; we didn’t need that. Our energy would simply prevail. We had all the momentum; we were riding the crest of a high and beautiful wave. So now, less than five years later, you can go up on a steep hill in Las Vegas and look West, and with the right kind of eyes you can almost see the high-water mark - that place where the wave finally broke and rolled back.

Hunter S. Thompson

finally, the temp has dropped a giant 9 degrees. It’s 80!

Dear house,

thank you for keeping me safe for three years

for being too hot in the summer

and too cold in the winter

thank you for your roof and walls

you held my dreams intact

I know you are over 100 years old

but you don’t look a day over 50

dear house

I hope you still stand

after the great flood

I hope you float away to Africa

I hope you take flight like a bird

I hope

My friend Sally has been rediscovering past shows through the archives at the Charlie Rose website. I have followed suit…
Such great stuff. Check out Sunday on Friday: A Week In Review.

 I finally have a pile started, so it is beginning to look like things are getting done. All day yesterday was spent, steam cleaning rugs. The job is done for the most part, however rug number two is still stinky. Very stinky.

Next Monday is the day, Starving Students come to pick up all the crap. Then me and D_ will make the eight hour trip with dogs, cats and computer in tow. That should be interesting.

The world is full of bastards - the number ever increasing the further one gets from Missoula, Montana!